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[05 Nov 2005|08:05pm] |
Kentaro says:
Chels ._.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
Ausie ._.
Kentaro says:
No amount of emoticons can explain how fucked up I feel ;-;
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
aww, what's happened? ; ;
Kentaro says:
Its so mest up, its like I lost control of my body. It likes my breathing is eratic and I cant control my mouth and im mumbling nonsense, and I have a headache from repeated hitting myself with a pillow and I cant bring myself to cry. And and, Its hard to stand, its to do anything really. and and, im I guess, hypervenilating. and all that stuff.
Kentaro says:
I know I have enough willpower to stop all this, but I cant, I cant bring myself to stop. I just want to cry damnit. And apperantly im doing everything but that and im going insane.
Kentaro says:
I hate my mom so much. And im too damn nice, I just can never tell her how much I want her to feel bad for what she does, and I think about it, but I just cant. Because apperantly, the one time Caitling was down here, and I could see her, I get to spend barly anytime with her, while im sure it was the best time ive ever had, but its not enough. My mom will never do anything if its inconvient,
Kentaro says:
she wont take me to Dallas where Caitling lives, and the one time shes down here she wont even drive to where shes staying to pick me up. So after Caitlin went to were ever she had to go, I was stuck as the bookstore, and as soon as I let go of her I already started crying. And so I went into the bookstore, picked out a book, pretended to read it and cried a bit.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
..just holy fuck man ._.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
you have to let all of that out
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
or else itp ulls you apart from the insideo ut ._.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
I'm sorry ._. *hug*
Kentaro says:
;-; *hugs*
Kentaro says:
And I just cant stop thinking nonsense, Because I tell you, the first time you put your arm around the person you love, you learn something, that puts everything you ever could of thought to shame, and its so amazingly elusive you could spend your life trying to think of what it was but you'll never come to it. And im sitting here trying to remember just what it was, but I think I do
Kentaro says:
But do I want to remember? right now at least, Its only making me suffer more. I dont know, do I want to suffer? I want to feel bad, I do, but why not enough where I can cry? why cant I just lay down and turn my pillow into a soaking wet, thing of a pillow. But, suffering is it getting me anywhere? does it really? I just dont know, im blabbering.
Kentaro says:
I think its because, it'd be wrong not to feel horrible, thats obvious, anyone can see that, but mabye im thinking the worse I feel the better is it, I cry because I care, so If I cry more, I care more right? but I just cant anymore.
Kentaro says:
But even as I type this, putting my feelings into words, I am brought back closer to sanity, but the saner I get, the more logical it is to realize I should be going insane right now. I mean, I just dont know. I wanted to spend every single second of the weekend with her, but I cant. and shes leaving tommarow. We didnt even get to get our picture taken togeather, besides a little tiny phone camera
Kentaro says:
one thats now my phones background.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
._. I get it
Kentaro says:
God... My mom is always half-assed about everything. She bothers you till you bleed, and she always makes the worst jokes that I guess she thinks are funny but they're just horrible, and pointless, and the only reason anyone would ever make jokes like she does would be to annoy you. And my dad, He just doenst care, he might care actually, but he never talks, so Its as good as him not caring,
Kentaro says:
And he just, like, when he came to the bookstore to pick me up, he found me, and then he made me wait as he randomly went around and looked at books.
Kentaro says:
While I wasnt crying exactly, tearing up in public place still feels weird. I just wanted to be home.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
Me see. ._.
Kentaro says:
I can think about my mom now, even, she'd say something like "Have fun?" or mabye... I dont know, I forgot already. maybe she'd make some joke about "did you kiss Caitlin goodbye?" like she was a fourth grader or something.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
-_- I hate those jokes
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
so very much.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
it's insensitive ._.
Kentaro says:
Yeah ._. thats a good word Chels, ill make sure to remember it.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
Okie. ._.
Kentaro says:
There was just so much I wanted to do this weekend. And now, tommarow is going to be wasted away, and... I was just hoping that mabye I would actually start feeling better after this weekend. That mabye I would get the inspiration to start doing better in school, or, I dunno, get a better work ethic or something. But no, I can already tell that im not going to feel like doing anything.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
._. I see
Kentaro says:
Thanks for listening to me chels ;-; *glomps to death*
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
; ; aww it's okay
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
you have to tell people about this stuff *hug*
Kentaro says:
I know ;-; *hugs* No one else is here though. Your here, thats it, no ones on MSN, no ones on AIM, they're might be someone on Yahoo but I doubt she wants to listen to me, She was one of the ones that thought I should stay with Emma, and just thinking about any of that is not helping ._.
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
._. I see then.
Kentaro says:
;-; *hugs*
† ]|[Emp]|[ † says:
*hugs* x 100 ; ;
Kentaro says:
;_;
Im so sorry Emma, I hate myself for what I did and I should of ealier, but I just didnt want to hurt you, aside from whats above this I hope you know I feel horrible, wether or not it makes you feel any better or worse I dont know. Just so many times I think of a conversation I had with Mia about you, and it hurts.
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| Comparing to the past! |
[27 Oct 2005|06:42pm] |
The Present~
Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.comThe Past~ Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Extraversion | |||||| | 23% | | Stability | |||||||||||||| | 53% | | Orderliness | |||||||||| | 36% | | Empathy | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Interdependence | |||||| | 30% | | Intellectual | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Mystical | |||||||||| | 36% | | Artistic | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Religious | |||||||||| | 36% | | Hedonism | |||| | 16% | | Materialism | |||||||||| | 36% | | Narcissism | |||| | 16% | | Adventurousness | |||||| | 30% | | Work ethic | |||||| | 30% | | Self absorbed | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Conflict seeking | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Need to dominate | |||||||||||| | 50% | | | Romantic | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Avoidant | || | 10% | | Anti-authority | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Wealth | |||||| | 30% | | Dependency | |||||| | 23% | | Change averse | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Cautiousness | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Individuality | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Sexuality | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Peter pan complex | |||| | 16% | | Physical security | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Food indulgent | |||| | 16% | | Histrionic | || | 10% | | Paranoia | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Vanity | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Hypersensitivity | |||||||||| | 36% | | Female cliche | |||||||||||| | 50% | |
| Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.comThe Differance~ + Extraversion. + Romantic + Avoident + Anti-Authority + Wealth + Dependancy + Hypersensitivity + Adventurousness. ++ Conflict Seeking. ++ Mystical. +++ Narcissism. - Vanity - Need to Dominate. - Artistic. - Religious. - Hedonism. -- Individuality = Intellectual = Sexuality = Physical Security = Paranoia = Change Averse Empathy and Food Indulgent did not appear. Anything else that changed and or is not there is just because im lazy.
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| The Sun goes up and the Sun goes down. |
[22 Oct 2005|11:10pm] |
CowOutlaw: Hey
dysthymicquokka: hey
CowOutlaw: No ones over at your house are they? >_>
CowOutlaw: >_>
dysthymicquokka: no
dysthymicquokka: haha
CowOutlaw: Awesome, Paranoia never fails
CowOutlaw: anyways I need your opinion.
dysthymicquokka: okay
CowOutlaw: I only got to save the last half of this conversation but, *shrugs*
CowOutlaw wants to directly connect.
dysthymicquokka is now directly connected.
CowOutlaw: redgearstint : Well, you dont want to kill me. But, Will you? Since I'm asking?
x_justletmego_x : No.
redgearstint : Just to let you know, you accomplished nothing with all of that other then scaring me to death. and if just scaring me for a bit was your goal, then your extreamly good at it.
x_justletmego_x : I don't care what I did,
x_justletmego_x : it wasn't the point of accomplishing something.
x_justletmego_x : It was..."I can't believe you. Just so you know, I can't."
x_justletmego_x : I didn't want to scare you, or do anything else.
x_justletmego_x : Just say that.
redgearstint : Well, if your so bold in that statement, Ill just say that, I did the best I could, and somethings cant be prevented. I dont understand why you cant believe what I did, I wasnt trying to hurt anyone. And the best option from my point of veiw was the let go of Emma now rather then let her get hurt more later. So, I guess thats it.
x_justletmego_x : Its not even that you broke up with her. Its that you waited to do it until another girl came into your life.
x_justletmego_x : If you were going to do it, you should have earlier,
x_justletmego_x : when Kaitlin wasn't a factor.
x_justletmego_x : There's nothing worse than a guy dumping you for someone else.
x_justletmego_x : Its a kick in the face.
x_justletmego_x : And I can't believe you did that to Emma.
redgearstint : You think I wanted to accept I didnt love Emma anymore?
x_justletmego_x : It doesn't matter.
x_justletmego_x : If you wanted to or not, you made a decision at the wrong time.
redgearstint : Well... I can live with that.
x_justletmego_x : Of course you can.
dysthymicquokka: hrm
dysthymicquokka: so whats your question?
CowOutlaw: I have no clue.
CowOutlaw: Arsin Soiyru: Hey
CowOutlaw: Im not in the best of moods right now.
Arsin Soiyru: Why?
CowOutlaw: People things.
CowOutlaw: Assumptions. Things like that.
Arsin Soiyru: Huh.
Arsin Soiyru: Kay.
CowOutlaw: You know the kinda thing were you have a few options, but which ever way you go your going to run straight into a brick wall, and the best option, just happens to have the side effect of making everyone think you picked the worst option.
Arsin Soiyru: Right.
CowOutlaw: Yeah.
CowOutlaw: Im a very paranoid person too.
CowOutlaw: Im also starting to think Im a perfectionist, but at the same time not really.
CowOutlaw: I already know im vain and a procrastinator.
CowOutlaw: Hmmm
CowOutlaw: And no matter what I do everyone eventually thinks im an angel again. Yet, you know, Im paranoid so I think their lieing.
CowOutlaw: *shrugs*
CowOutlaw: Ealier today for a very long time I was talking to someone. The whole time it felt like they were about to rip my soul out.
CowOutlaw: its an akward feeling, the kind you get when your accused of doing something but you know your not guilty.
Arsin Soiyru: Interesting.
CowOutlaw: Bassicly everyone I know has taken either my side or Mia's side in opinions about the whole thing.
dysthymicquokka: that you shouldnt have broken up with emma just to go out with caitlen?
CowOutlaw: redgearstint : You think I wanted to accept I didnt love Emma anymore?
dysthymicquokka: well did you feel the love had died before you learned that caitlen liked you? and be honest
CowOutlaw: Yeah. I even talked to Emma before about it.
dysthymicquokka: what did she say?
CowOutlaw: And she even said so in my livejournal thing
CowOutlaw: 2005-10-06
CowOutlaw: ._. You know I care about you. A whole ton. And you know I respect you. And you know that I'm greatfull for practically everything. I don't blame you, it's not like you had any control over it, if anything, it's my fault for being so stupid and stuff.
I know we talked about it. .__. And you know that I just care about you too much, I'd rather you dumped me than stay with me when you don't want to. And I still mean everything I've said. I don't know how else to put it. You know how I feel. But I'm glad you were honest about the whole thing instead of lieing or whatever. I just seriously hope that you'll be happy.
And I'm not angry. ...just upset. And sorry for everything.
CowOutlaw: I have eight minutes. Have anything to say?
dysthymicquokka: sorry
dysthymicquokka: well if the love really died, then yes i think you did the right thing
dysthymicquokka: now that she knows its for another girl, that makes it worse, but if she saw the love had died then both of you would know its for the best
CowOutlaw: Yeah. We're still friends, we still talk, she doesnt hate me or Caitlin. I mean, she said she was hurt, but she understood, and yeah...
dysthymicquokka: yeah
dysthymicquokka: i mean i think it was right that you did end it before too much pain ensued, yeah maybe it was the wrong time but would there even be another time?
CowOutlaw: Yeah, thats what I thought.
CowOutlaw: Well, I knew you where smart enough to realize that.
CowOutlaw: I feel better now that I know im not one of the only people thinking that way.
dysthymicquokka: thanks, and yeah i mean it wouldnt even matter if you were, you know more about your heart and your relationship than to have any one else take judgement on it
CowOutlaw: People dont like to trust people.
dysthymicquokka: true
CowOutlaw: People just dont see what you saw =\
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
And yes, that means something.
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| I did it again! |
[21 Oct 2005|05:19pm] |
MisterKwiz: Still feeling horrible?
lunar2foreverblu: na
MisterKwiz: Ah. I am >_>
lunar2foreverblu: naruto really helped
MisterKwiz: Awesome XD
lunar2foreverblu: anyways
lunar2foreverblu: why?
MisterKwiz: Long story. In which I care to tell.
lunar2foreverblu: k
MisterKwiz: Bassicly. I got at school today.
MisterKwiz: and then there was first peroid
MisterKwiz: ...then second and so on untill fourth >_>
MisterKwiz: >_>
MisterKwiz: XD;
MisterKwiz: And that was Math!
MisterKwiz: Math has nothing to do with why I feel bad, it actually you could say helped. But bassicly what happend. Is we had to work on the power point thing.
MisterKwiz: And it was like about moving out on your own and stuff
MisterKwiz: and one of the slides had to be "What could help you prepare to move out on your own"
MisterKwiz: And I was sitting their dreaming. Then Becca grabs my keyboard and types "Get married to Caitlin" and I was like... "You know what? Thats what I was thinking." XDDD Anyways, that was the fun part.
MisterKwiz: after School.
MisterKwiz: I was like travelling around randomly.
lunar2foreverblu: lol XD
MisterKwiz: And then apperantly Mia thought it was good day to come down from the highschool to the middleschool randomly and see people.
MisterKwiz: And well I found her obviouslly. And we like walkedzored around.
MisterKwiz: And eventually we got out into the front of the school
MisterKwiz: and we found like Becca and Garrett,
MisterKwiz: And stuff, and Garrett was being a real guy, you know? flirting with any living thing... that happend to be female.
MisterKwiz: So yeah. Eventually he had to leave.
MisterKwiz: and we were talking and stuff.
lunar2foreverblu: lol
MisterKwiz: And Becca was like, This person loves Caitlin. Then Mia was all like omg. what about Emma? and thne she just was like, omg, and stuff about how she feels sorry for her, and then Mia looked up at me was like, omg, are you about to cry? Im sorry *hugs*. And then I opened my eyes and looked at Becca and she was like, Are you about to cry? and I was like... Maybe.
lunar2foreverblu: wow
MisterKwiz: Yeah
MisterKwiz: And then I got in the car. And my mom started being a retard about school -_-
lunar2foreverblu: i see
MisterKwiz: Yeah -_-
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[10 Oct 2005|08:28pm] |
I got a hoodie :D. I've never worn one before, and and, omg there so comfy. I'd post a picture or two, but there bad and out of focus, and I dont want to take a trip to image shack, and actually I only have one picture. People say it looks awesome, so.. yay! o-o.
My mom got me horribly mad today. I would post the conversation but my AIM blew up. But anyways we were eating and my mom was asking me questions about Emma and I dont really talk to my parrents so I was somewhat annoyed, she of course, realized my annoyance and went "Remember six months ago when you got really mad when I told you, you'd never see her? Wow, that sure was quick." And I just wanted to be like shut the hell up -_-.
So even it turns out that like, I dont go with Emma. I still really want to see her and stuff >_<. Mostly because it would be awesome and partly to prove my mom wrong D:. Or I could go backpacking in Europe with Casey and his dad, If they were actually being serious, and it sounded like it o_o;.
AND OMG LOOK AT MY NEW LJ ICON. HOUSE!~ omg hes so hot.
Edit thingy; I can teach algebra 2!
Cahtlyn: Austin your crazy
Cahtlyn: You can technically change the size of numbers
MisterKwiz: I just want a two digit number that goes to 420 okay?
MisterKwiz: ;-;
Cahtlyn: Is it possible?
MisterKwiz: The value is the same. Im just making that number of digits it needs to be represented in smaller.
MisterKwiz: Ill explain, this is algebra two stuff. So listen.
Cahtlyn: Kay
MisterKwiz: 426. Thats a number. Four hundred. twenty. six.
MisterKwiz: Right?
Cahtlyn: Yes
MisterKwiz: That four, does not mean just four right? It means 400. Because its in the hundreds place. so 4, which is its value, times its place, which is 100, equals 400.
MisterKwiz: Right? How do we know its place is a 100? because its a base of 10. Our numbers go up to nine before they go up to the next place right? (which makes 10 including zero)
Cahtlyn: Okay
MisterKwiz: Bassicly, the number in the "ones" place, is always multiplied by one. the number in the tens place, is multiplied by ten, because its base is 10. and hundred multiplied by 100, because 10*10 = 100, thousands, 1000, because 10*10*10 equals 1000.
MisterKwiz: So all I have to do, to make numbers shorter, is increase the base. So a base 16, would have numbers 0-15(which would be represented as F). If its in the ones place, multiplie it by one. if its in the tens, multiplie it by 16, because thats the base, if its in the tens, multiply it by 256, because 16*16 = 256. and if its in the hundreds, multiplie it by 4096, because 16*16*16 = 4096. And then, when you find out the value of each place, you add it togeather. remember all the old. 462 = 400 + 60 + 2. from elementry school? thats bassically what this is.
Cahtlyn: But a bit more complicated, right?
MisterKwiz: Yeah.
Cahtlyn: That's pretty cool
MisterKwiz: Yeah.
MisterKwiz: Its just how something works. I mean, were taught how to use base ten, and we just accept that, we're taught how to use it but not how it works. And its just cool like that o-o To figure things out.
Cahtlyn: El comprehendo
MisterKwiz: Awesome<3
Cahtlyn: Is that what you learned in math today? Or do you just know this, cuz you're smart o_o
MisterKwiz: I figured it out.
Cahtlyn: Roxors
MisterKwiz: Yeah. I was all like using a hex editor on something, and I was like, I wonder if theres a way I could do this in my head
MisterKwiz: and I found out. and I was like, Wow, that can be used for anything.
MisterKwiz: And so I was like...
MisterKwiz: wait a minute.
MisterKwiz: If I wanted to make it a decimal. what would it be
MisterKwiz: because like 1.5 in hex would be same as one and 5/16ths.
MisterKwiz: but then I was like, or would it be 5/15ths because you cant devide by zero.
MisterKwiz: So I came to the conclusion that its 5/15ths.
MisterKwiz: and then I went out to figure
MisterKwiz: if you wanted to make a percent using hex it would be a number out of 256 instead of 100.
MisterKwiz: And then I was like, well it wouldnt be exactly a per cent but you know.
MisterKwiz: since per cent means, per one hundred.
MisterKwiz: o-o
Cahtlyn: wow
Cahtlyn: You were right, you probably will be the next Einstein XD
MisterKwiz: XDDD
Cahtlyn: So what are you gonna do with your newly discovered knowledge?
MisterKwiz: I was planning on making a base 20 number system. so I could like make a secrect code thing because I was bored. I'd like make the most 410 common/generalized words that way every word in the code would only be two digits. and the other 10 or so numbers would be used to create context or emphasive meaning if needed.
Cahtlyn: o_o I'm impressed
MisterKwiz: Thanks o_o
Cahtlyn: Welcome
MisterKwiz: I would make a list of general concepts, alphabetize them then give them numbers o-o
MisterKwiz: That way if you forget which two digits where which word you could make an educated guess about it since it would be alphabetized.
Cahtlyn: Cool
MisterKwiz: So yeah >_>
Cahtlyn: Awesome
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| Public Enemy #1 says: |
[06 Oct 2005|05:02pm] |
Apperantly, Thinking in general can get you in trouble.
And if thinking and feeling ever come togeather it would create an explosion that would destroy your entire universe.
Boom.
CowOutlaw: http://www.livejournal.com/users/umimi/61183.html
Black13Rose7: v.v
Black13Rose7: what happened?
CowOutlaw: http://www.livejournal.com/users/misterkwiz/13020.html
Black13Rose7: v.v
Black13Rose7: I can't believe that you broke up with her
CowOutlaw: -_-
CowOutlaw: Jackie, think for a moment.
Black13Rose7: I am
CowOutlaw: Did I ever say anywhere that I did anything like that?
Black13Rose7: well
Black13Rose7: no
Black13Rose7: but
Black13Rose7: that's what I'm getting
Black13Rose7: you made her sad
CowOutlaw: from them yes.
CowOutlaw: And apperantly I did.
Black13Rose7: and you have a lot of posts about you thinking about it
Black13Rose7: -sighs-
Black13Rose7: I dunno
CowOutlaw: Mainly because my internet blew up before I could post what I had to in the morning.
Black13Rose7: did you break up with her?
CowOutlaw: Apperantly, I doubt her friends would let me get within ten feet of her.
CowOutlaw: or miles even >_>
CowOutlaw: But I never said anything. Just. God -_-.
Black13Rose7: what'd you say to her
Black13Rose7: that made her so sad
CowOutlaw: Jackie, I havnt even talked to her.
Black13Rose7: well what happened
Black13Rose7: explain to me
Black13Rose7: v.v
Black13Rose7: I wanna know,.
CowOutlaw: She read it, and exploded apperantly.
Black13Rose7: because this is driving mecrazy.
Black13Rose7: well
Black13Rose7: I wouldn't blame her
Black13Rose7: v.v
Black13Rose7: girls are sensitive. they take things a lot more harshly than it should be taken
Black13Rose7: like
CowOutlaw: Well she wasnt supposed to read it in the morning before I posted the other thing >_<
Black13Rose7: well
Black13Rose7: she did
Black13Rose7: talk to her
Black13Rose7: send her a bunch of emails telling her what's going on
CowOutlaw: I would, if I could, but I cant.
CowOutlaw: Good idea >_>
Black13Rose7: and if you still love her thent ell her
Black13Rose7: because
Black13Rose7: she thinks you don't
CowOutlaw: Actually, Ill just post this on LJ >_>
]|[Emp]|[ says:
What's wrong? =[
Ink-Eyes says:
I am public enemy #1
Ink-Eyes says:
I swear, I never want to be involved with politics
]|[Emp]|[ says:
Me neither.
]|[Emp]|[ says:
what happned?
Ink-Eyes says:
Sadly. Worst case scenario.
]|[Emp]|[ says:
Me see. ._.
Ink-Eyes says:
And you know what? Someones going to take the comment about politics and completly take it the wrong way and kill me with it.
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[06 Oct 2005|08:31am] |
MisterKwiz: http://www.livejournal.com/users/misterkwiz/12504.html
MisterKwiz: Enjoy reading o-o;
Cahtlyn: Joy!!!
Cahtlyn: Awwww..... I feel loved.
Cahtlyn: And I understand if you still want to stay with Emma
Cahtlyn: I can live with being your friend or less
MisterKwiz: Either I was gone for a long time or you read fast o-o;
Cahtlyn: I read fast =P
MisterKwiz: =3
Cahtlyn: I love that face... omg
MisterKwiz: XD
MisterKwiz: So yeah...
Cahtlyn: yeah....>_>
MisterKwiz: ...Akward silence still >_>
Cahtlyn: Yep.
Cahtlyn: Gettin used to those
MisterKwiz: Yeah *nods*
Cahtlyn: That's kind of sad....
MisterKwiz: Mabye.
Cahtlyn: So, what cha' gonna do?
MisterKwiz: I dont know, I'll think? o-o
Cahtlyn: That's a good idea.
MisterKwiz: It is o-o;
Cahtlyn: whatever you choose I don't think anyone's gonna eat you out.... so yeah...
MisterKwiz: I told you im paranoid :D
~~
MisterKwiz: I really. think only time will tell. But I feel like I still need to do something now. >_<
chibikitsune117: yeah...
chibikitsune117: hmm
chibikitsune117: :-\
chibikitsune117: i would wait it out
chibikitsune117: taking action is important too
chibikitsune117: but you don't want 2 take naive action
~~
redgearstint : http://www.livejournal.com/users/misterkwiz/12504.html
x_justletmego_x : I'm gonna kill you.
x_justletmego_x : So bad.
x_justletmego_x : Okay.
x_justletmego_x : That was the only mean thing I'm going to say.
x_justletmego_x : Now here comes the lecture.
redgearstint : Sweet!
redgearstint : omgface
redgearstint : D:
redgearstint : Stupid... auto-faces
redgearstint : [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<_<>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] MisterKwiz: http://www.livejournal.com/users/misterkwiz/12504.html
MisterKwiz: Enjoy reading o-o;
Cahtlyn: Joy!!!
Cahtlyn: Awwww..... I feel loved.
Cahtlyn: And I understand if you still want to stay with Emma
Cahtlyn: I can live with being your friend or less
MisterKwiz: Either I was gone for a long time or you read fast o-o;
Cahtlyn: I read fast =P
MisterKwiz: =3
Cahtlyn: I love that face... omg
MisterKwiz: XD
MisterKwiz: So yeah...
Cahtlyn: yeah....>_>
MisterKwiz: ...Akward silence still >_>
Cahtlyn: Yep.
Cahtlyn: Gettin used to those
MisterKwiz: Yeah *nods*
Cahtlyn: That's kind of sad....
MisterKwiz: Mabye.
Cahtlyn: So, what cha' gonna do?
MisterKwiz: I dont know, I'll think? o-o
Cahtlyn: That's a good idea.
MisterKwiz: It is o-o;
Cahtlyn: whatever you choose I don't think anyone's gonna eat you out.... so yeah...
MisterKwiz: I told you im paranoid :D
~~
MisterKwiz: I really. think only time will tell. But I feel like I still need to do something now. >_<
chibikitsune117: yeah...
chibikitsune117: hmm
chibikitsune117: :-\
chibikitsune117: i would wait it out
chibikitsune117: taking action is important too
chibikitsune117: but you don't want 2 take naive action
~~
redgearstint : http://www.livejournal.com/users/misterkwiz/12504.html
x_justletmego_x : I'm gonna kill you.
x_justletmego_x : So bad.
x_justletmego_x : Okay.
x_justletmego_x : That was the only mean thing I'm going to say.
x_justletmego_x : Now here comes the lecture.
redgearstint : Sweet!
redgearstint : omgface
redgearstint : D:
redgearstint : Stupid... auto-faces
redgearstint : <_<
x_justletmego_x : I only just now heard about this Caitlin thing. And I honestly never thought much of you two. Besides, now that Caitlins gone, you won't see her as much and stuff.
x_justletmego_x : And Emma is like- always there. And its always been a long distance relationship.
x_justletmego_x : And you're not 'only kids'.
x_justletmego_x : Psh.
x_justletmego_x : Grown up are 'only adults'.
x_justletmego_x : I like Emma better, not afraid to say it,
x_justletmego_x : cause she and you just fit.
x_justletmego_x : And I think Caitlin is one of those things where you know someone likes you,
x_justletmego_x : so you think you like them back,
x_justletmego_x : but you don't.
x_justletmego_x : And there it is.
redgearstint : The whole kid thing, Didnt mean it like that. Second thing, well, thanks for your feedback and dont come and shoot me? >_>
x_justletmego_x : I won't.
x_justletmego_x : You threatened FMA spoilers.
x_justletmego_x : I'd like..
x_justletmego_x : shrivel up on the ground and die.
x_justletmego_x : o_o;
~~
lunar2foreverblu: all i can think of is
lunar2foreverblu: listen to your heart
lunar2foreverblu: go after which ever one you think will make you the happiest
lunar2foreverblu: this is no one else's choice
lunar2foreverblu: only you can choose who you want to be with
~~
MisterKwiz: Have you thought of anything yet? =\
Cahtlyn: I've thought on how much I like you, how horrible I'd feel if I caused you to break up with Emma, and how this is just really cruel.
MisterKwiz: Well... I brought it apon myself?
Cahtlyn: No. You can't control who's going to like you or not
Cahtlyn: So, it'd be more my fault than anything....
MisterKwiz: I can control what I say though :P
Cahtlyn: True
Cahtlyn: So what have thought/written of?
MisterKwiz: Nothing, I was about to start typing. I thought of like... stuff. Like how I cried before and after you left and stuff.
Cahtlyn: I'm sorry I made you cry.... I was trying not to make anyone sad by my leaving somehow... >_<
MisterKwiz: >_<
MisterKwiz: Nah, as strange as it sounds crying is fun.
Cahtlyn: o_o
Cahtlyn: You're right that is strange sounding.
Cahtlyn: Crying gives me a headache
MisterKwiz: Well, I have a hard time crying, so when I do it tells me that I care, so its cool like that.
Cahtlyn: cool
MisterKwiz: Yeah...
Cahtlyn: awkward silences again. fun
MisterKwiz: Im just... thinking >_<L
MisterKwiz: without that... L >_>
Cahtlyn: laugh
MisterKwiz: Thinking can hurt.
Cahtlyn: Yeah....
~~ |
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[05 Oct 2005|04:46pm] |
MisterKwiz: I had to say randomly last night to myself:
I love both of them, to death. And I just have no idea what to do. I'm scared that what I feel for Caitling is just like, a crush, and it's pretty sad that I can't tell the difference even after being in love. But I'm thinking that it's just my mind putting up some sort of façade. Do I want to be with Emma just because she's more familiar? Do I want to be with Caitlin just because she's different? Because I don't know a lot about her? Someone new? I've felt for a while like I've being growing away from Emma. Is this what it amounts to? I love them both so much, but knowing Emma so well, I have a gut feeling like she'll understand, I remember saying once to her that even if we don't end up together, I still want to be the best of friends, and I feel like she knows that. The dark realization is we're only kids.
Megan had to say:
dysthymicquokka: it wouldn't be right to break a love for another one, you know that I don't really need to preach to the choir
dysthymicquokka: but like she said, it comes down to who drives the passion in you, not what your mom will say or what everyone else thinks
dysthymicquokka: love is between two people, not your peers
Jackie had to say:
Black13Rose7: like if you think it would be better for you being with caitlyn then do that
Black13Rose7: if yout hink you'd rather stay with emma
Black13Rose7: then do that
Black13Rose7: like. I totally love emma. and I'd have to kick your ass if you like made her hurt really bad. and I also love caitlyn and I'd have to kick your ass if you hurt her
Black13Rose7: and then
Black13Rose7: if you hurt yourself...
Black13Rose7: I'd
Black13Rose7: be confused
Black13Rose7: and my head would pop
Black13Rose7: v.v
MisterKwiz: I got to go eat, Ill be back later.
chibikitsune117: austin- it's ok 2 love 2 ppl @ once. bottom line-it happens...what matters is how you act on how you love them. you can't have both of them, but you can love them both, so don't worry about th@. as for love and crushes, there's a diff and sumtimes a crush is sooo strong th@ it feels like it will never end. you can't always tell until your relationship progresses, or...digresses. love really doesn't end. if you love some one you can imagine them w/ sum1 else, seeing them happy, and just being happy because they are. love also hurts a lot more than crushes. so what really matters @ this point doesn't seem 2 me th@ you choose one 2 love esp since your heart is so torn, but that you understand that you can love one and love and be with one. so either choose 2 be with emma or caitlyn, but never with both. also...my personal advice (which u may not care for) is stict it thru a bit longer w/ emma. you should never leave a girl 4 another girl...period. however if you are having doubts, and yall r growing farther apart, then it would b just natural. so the end!
MisterKwiz: Yeah... thats about how far I got with my thinking o_O;
chibikitsune117: so yeah
chibikitsune117: th@'s what i have 2 say tho
MisterKwiz: Well. I have felt difting-ness away from Emma(1). And Caitling and I have liked eachother for quite a while apperantly, but we didnt really know the other did o-o; And well, What I think is the bottem line is. That we're just kids you know, and If Im supposed to end up with Emma, then thats what will happen, and if this turns out to be one big mistake, then I'll learn from it and move on. :o
MisterKwiz: I guess it just needs time.
chibikitsune117: what needs time?
chibikitsune117: 4 u 2 think or your relationship?
chibikitsune117: or the prob?
MisterKwiz: All of the above? o_O;
MisterKwiz: >_>
chibikitsune117: hmmm
chibikitsune117: i'd say the relationship needs time yeah
chibikitsune117: 4 u 2 think....if your not ready then yes
chibikitsune117: but as 4 the prob
chibikitsune117: i'm not sure
chibikitsune117: but i don't see what other chioce u have
(1)To Emma: Remember? >_> We talked about it? ._.;
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| 42 = 52 = 2A = 101010 |
[04 Oct 2005|08:38pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Keiji - Ooshima Michiru |
] |
Ink-Eyes says:
Im doing exactly what I never wanted to get into >_<
]|[Emp]|[ says:
it happens to everyone >_<
]|[Emp]|[ says:
I guess it's better than lying to someone though ._.
Ink-Eyes says:
I know >_<.
~~
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| 1100011 cant reach decimal 100 |
[01 Oct 2005|10:25pm] |
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I dont feel so weird anymore, Im sure as hell not going to do anything that creepy or spontanous again o_o; But still, I cant get her out of my mind o_o. I need to find something to do...
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| Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF |
[30 Sep 2005|11:09pm] |
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mood |
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;-; *crys* |
] |
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music |
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Wind - Toshiro Masuda |
] |
Today was Caitlins last day to school before she moves to Dallas. She had a party after school, it was awesome, but really short though, I wish it could of lasted the whole day ._. We made like a scrapbook thingy for her, and like Tuesday in Math I got to like write in it and stuff, and I almost cried in class ._. and then like after class Bob (Beckuh) like pulled me over and asked if liked Caitlin, and I was like, Shes awesome, but not like that. and then the next day (thursday) I cried at home and stuff >_<, so yeah, then today it was friday and stuff. And in math class, Bob was all like do you like Caitlin? and I was like Shes awesome, but not like that, I have a girlfriend. and was all like "gasp!" and I asked bob why she asked. And bob was like "She likes a certain Sir William" and im all like ._. So I dunno. Mabye bob misunderstood or mabye I misunderstood, or mabye we both misunderstood, or mabye we both didnt... thats all the possibility. And then bob said Well you should like Caitlin. (notice my lack of qoutation marks everywhere) And yeah ._.
I was going to write that we love you, but then I remembered something completly random but completly important. I once read that bad writers (something im not), hide behind the word "we" instead of using "I". So screw it.
I LOVE YOU AND I'M GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH ._.
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| 00101010 |
[18 Sep 2005|10:16pm] |
|
Tommarow is the start of the sixth week of school. I dare you to read the entry below this one, and be amazed! >_> I got alot of homework to do. And stuff like that. Hurray ThinkGeek o-o. *runs around like his head was chopped off* Kinda sad how often I update this... Hmmmmm.
( So why don't you slide? )
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| Heh heh, roflakes |
[16 Aug 2005|08:33pm] |
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music |
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System of a Down - Question! |
] |
o_o, I was all like... IM GOING TO MAKE AN ENTRY ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, YEAH... and then I forgot >_>... anyways... to sum up the first day since its not exactly fresh in my mind anymore... um... Lots... and lots of hugs XD;. I guess :o. Anyways...
Sweet berries ready for two,
Ghosts are no different than you,
Ghosts are now waiting for you,
Are you...?
Sweet berries ready for two,
Ghosts are no different than you,
Ghosts are now waiting for you,
Are you dreaming...?
Dreaming the night,
Dreaming alright.
Do we, do we know,
When we fly...?
When we, when we go,
Do we die...?
So yeah... I need some freaking cards >_<. Some more Hand Of Crueltys and some other stuff. ugh, this sucks. I need to go to some kind of card place, or buy all the commons really cheap, or something like that *explodes*. I also need to make my Champions of Kamigawa themed Starcraft Map... Ughtoast. I hope you dont mind, I developed the habit of adding "toast" onto things... MAYSHING GET OUT OF MY HEAD O_O. coasttoast is mine XD, she says cattoast, and something else that I dont want to steal of "Lawlocust" XDDDDDDD, So... hmmmm... God this is so pointless, I got stuff to do. Later El Jay o_o
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| An update? OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD!!!! |
[02 Aug 2005|01:00pm] |
Im going to start updating when school starts again...
*Akward Silence*
Woooooooo!!!!!!!!.. oooh.... oh.. *coughs up a lung* x_o
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| I am so fucking pissed off I would shoot someone. Many times. |
[23 Jun 2005|04:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Pissed Off |
] |
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music |
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Alkaline Trio - Armageddon |
] |
A loser? Someone is a loser because they dont want to have premartial sex? Im honestly not completly against it, but if you call someone that doesnt want to have premartial sex a loser. Then your obvoiuslly past a fucking brain dead idiot. Even more so if this loser doesnt want to have premartial sex because of there veiws on abortion. And Danielle, some people actually care about who they have sex with, and actually have to worrie about the emotions that come afterwords. And I do not want to have to deal with the fact it could ruin us, I dont. I love her so much and I want to make it to the end. We dont need sex. So, Danielle, go have more sex if you want, even an abortion if you need, I guess the more fucked up you are the better, guess it helps you get along with the majority of the jocks. I wish you never made me guess who you were, I cant believe your this much of an ass, You disgust me. Im sorry If that sounds to blown out. But I can tell that is how you are, from in person, from everything you've said online. You are exactly the kind of person I was hoping didnt exist in the world. It must suck not knowing how fucked up you are, It really must. Oh and thanks for being so immature.
Edit: I forgot, I didnt make it clear enough she didnt call me a loser, but rather Emma.
Dollypops12: and sex wont ruin yall
Dollypops12: unless she is like a loser and she has to wait untill she is maried
What the fuck
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[03 Jun 2005|04:03am] |
Sir Francis Galton, the cousin of Charles Darwin, first popularized the notion of measurable intelligence in the late 1800s. Charles Spearman later discovered that all mental abilities tend to correlate together when statistically analyzed. He called this G. Modern researchers tend to agree that there are two kinds of intelligence, crystallized intelligence (learned knowledge) and fluid intelligence (abstract processing ability). Most non-verbal intelligence tests measure the latter. Some research suggests that fluid intelligence may correlate best to G.
Congratulations, you obtained a very high score. I am researching intelligence and personality so I would greatly appreciate if you would use the comment form below to answer the following questions.
What was your childhood IQ measured at? SAT score? GRE score?
What is your career or what career do you plan on pursuing?
How has your intelligence affected your life?
Do you think intelligence correlates negatively with physical attractiveness?
Did you have any problems with any of the questions on this test, was it challenging, easy?
Include your email if you are open to possibly getting some follow up questions from me (your email will be kept private). If you would rather think about the questions and answer later, submit your answers via the contact link.
Your overall percentile is 93% which means you scored higher than 93% of the people who have taken this test. The internet population tends to be more intelligent so your percentile might be higher if the test taking sample was perfectly random. Keep in mind, taking this test more than once will render your percentile score inaccurate because the percentile score assumes these questions were fresh to the test taker.
The point of this test is to challenge you and show you how you compare to other test takers on a set of novel questions. Consequently, I need to keep the answers secret to protect the integrity of the test.
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| First update in millions of years! Hurrah! |
[03 Jun 2005|03:12am] |
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Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Extraversion | |||||| | 23% | | Stability | |||||||||||||| | 53% | | Orderliness | |||||||||| | 36% | | Empathy | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Interdependence | |||||| | 30% | | Intellectual | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Mystical | |||||||||| | 36% | | Artistic | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Religious | |||||||||| | 36% | | Hedonism | |||| | 16% | | Materialism | |||||||||| | 36% | | Narcissism | |||| | 16% | | Adventurousness | |||||| | 30% | | Work ethic | |||||| | 30% | | Self absorbed | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Conflict seeking | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Need to dominate | |||||||||||| | 50% | | | Romantic | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Avoidant | || | 10% | | Anti-authority | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Wealth | |||||| | 30% | | Dependency | |||||| | 23% | | Change averse | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Cautiousness | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Individuality | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Sexuality | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Peter pan complex | |||| | 16% | | Physical security | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Food indulgent | |||| | 16% | | Histrionic | || | 10% | | Paranoia | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Vanity | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Hypersensitivity | |||||||||| | 36% | | Female cliche | |||||||||||| | 50% | |
| Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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| You've been JAMMED 555 |
[15 May 2005|07:23pm] |
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music |
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Everything Will Be Alright - The Killers |
] |
Emma, I love you, and you mean everything to me. You said this has to work, and it does, I'm going to try having a serious talk with my mom and see if she could have a serious talk with your mom. I suspect your mom's afraid of something alot more than just money. Oh and I love your voice, the way you say 'I love you' just sounds so cute x'3. We might get to talk tommarow, My eyes hurt, I've had horrible head aches, stumach pains, throat hurting, list could go on but you get it.
I love you, I always will, I'll always want too, and love always finds a way.
"Dreams come true, without that possibility nature would not incite us to have them."
-John Updike
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| ~Untitled :'3~ |
[15 May 2005|09:07am] |
He sat there twiddling his thumbs. Located in the second row, on the first seat closest to the little desk where there happend to be a women in uniform. He glanced at his watch and then back down to his thumbs before he adjusted his head to look behind his shoulders where there happend to be a few other people sitting in random rows, and a certain shop keeper that sold him a few roses. He glanced at his watch again, then started to hum a few pleasant tunes.
"Flight 942 has arrived and will be at the gate shortly" Said the women through the P.A. System. His mind jumped as the nose of the plane began to show through the window. Glancing to see if his Mom was still in restroom, He put the roses in hand and waited for the people to come flooding out.
She walked down the tube that connected the Airplane to the dock. She marvled everybit of it, even though Airports arnt very pretty this was differant, this was a Texas Airport. She started handing the attendant the required information as she glanced about, she saw him, and started forking over the papers in a hurry.
He stood up as she ran towards him, opened his arms and hugged with all his might. As they stood embraced by each other they exchanged their hellos, and when they were done they started heading towards the parking, halfway there he pointed out the mistletoe on the cieling they forget to take down every year, while she looked up wondering, he nervously kissed her.
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| ((.-'`-=Robot Ninja Frogs=-`'-.)) |
[12 May 2005|07:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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My mood is neutral D: |
] |
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music |
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Air Conditioning - Big Time Fan |
] |
I gots stuff to say, because... I dunno just listen.~ I dont know why im just thinking this now, Its like trying to prepare when the storm is just a mile off the coast line and its a big one too. I dont want to give anyone the wrong idea or anything, and im typing on limited time, so dont judge untill your done or something and the other.
Fact: Emma and I love each other very, very much and more then that, plus alot more then multiply by infinite
Rationalization: Some things work, some things dont. The sitiuation has to work too besides the love, and im not just talking about Distance
Uh well, I cant explain this right now, need to think about it more, anyways what Im trying to say is, I really want this to work really, really badly. Look, I just want to bring up that we need to see if were so caught up in all this emotion that we cant think Rational about this. Theres just alot of common problems that relationships face and I just want to make sure where not turning a blind eye to them, or one happens to be staring at us.
(1) Theres something that needs to be asked, If you come to Texas, and stay and live here (I know even if you come just for the Summer you'll bolt yourself to the ground before leaving) Your kinda eloping. You leaving whats familiar, your leaving your friends exepct for MSN. And if the unspeakable happend, as if something we're to happen between us (which I doubt we could find an issue that couldnt we resolved) Could you still stand living here? I'm only thirteen, and your fourteen. Do you really think you can stand giving up so much just to be with me?
(2) Uh, I still cant think of any Common Problems, I'm trying to rationalize thinking right now, but hmmm... I asked Jackie for common relationship problems, I asume most problems have to do with ignorance of two people, so, I dunno. I mean we're completly not ignorant of each others so thats good :0~
Ill think about it in bed.
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